serve your spouse with sit-ups

Service with a smile!

I ran track when I was in high school. Elisa is probably sick of hearing me refer back to it – the glory days that they were! – and a particular picture that was taken of me at the time.

I was in excellent shape. My skin was tight around my face, I had barely any fat on my body, and I could run really fast for long periods of time. (Coincidentally, I pretty much have to be chased by a rabid dog or knife-wielding evil-doer to choose to run nowadays.)

For me, that picture is like a double-edged sword: On the positive side, I see what’s possible for me if I challenge myself to get fit; on the negative side, I feel like my years of best physical shape are behind me. And so, since getting married, I’ve gone on these roller coaster kicks where I’ll spend two weeks forcing myself to run, or do push-ups, or do sit-ups, or do (no judgment please) pilates, only to find that I burn out and wind up back on the couch without the desire to lift a finger.

In the past two months, though, I’ve been challenged. I’ve been made uncomfortable – physically and emotionally – and my perspective is beginning to shift.

What if I used getting fit as a way to serve Elisa?

On our Wedding Day, we both looked fantastic: Elisa, because she always looks great; me, because I had been doing an LGN workout for a few months before the wedding. The years start to go by, metabolism changes, routines shift, and you start carrying around some extra weight.

In my case, it was about 20 extra pounds.

As frustrated as I was with what I saw in the mirror and what I knew was possible (nothing like comparing today’s body with a picture from your junior year of high school to boost some confidence [insert sarcastic tone of voice here]), I began thinking about using my wife as motivation for getting fit and changing behaviors.

When we got married Elisa didn’t think, “Boy, I can’t wait for Derek to really let himself go!” Nor did she think, “Won’t it be great when he looks like a shell of the man I married?!”

And yet many of us – husbands and wives included – settle into that place after getting married. It’s like we finally got someone to take us off the market, so there’s no sense in keeping up appearances. Do you see how easily that line of thinking becomes self-centered?

A recurring theme in Get Naked is that marriage is best when you serve your spouse, when you look out for your wife’s needs, when you find ways to build up your husband. It’s counter-cultural, because we live in one of the most outwardly me-focused societies the world has ever known.

What would it mean to your spouse – and how much would his or her delight mean to you – if you started taking care of yourself physically? What if you did it together? How could you hold each other accountable and experience a healthier lifestyle?

And the ultimate question: How much better are you going to look naked?

Need a great resource? Check out what my friends Tony DiLorenzo and Dustin Riechmann are doing with FitMarriage.com.